The Wedding Saga Continues....

Well, we've picked out our rings, but haven't ordered them. We've picked out the cake but haven't ordered it yet. We've made a verbal agreement with the DJ but haven't had a chance to photocopy the contract and, therefore, haven't set it in stone. Our unity candle hasn't arrived yet. We still can't find a plain white non-scented pillar candle for our reception table centerpiece. I still need to lose some weight to fit comfortably into my wedding dress. All of this and only 38 days to go.

I refuse to panic. I refuse to panic. I refuse to panic.

This has become my mantra. Come hell or high water, on May 1, 2004 we will officially become each other's next of kin. And it can't get here soon enough for me.

I don't handle stress well....actually, that's a bit of an understatement....I don't handle stress period! Major emergencies I can remain calm and focused. Someone or something gets hurt, no problem....I'm on top of it with a level head. But for some reason, I can't deal with the little piddly stuff that makes life annoying. And this wedding is just one huge pile of piddly stuff.

To tell the truth, I couldn't care less if the favors match the exact color of the flowers and the dresses and the sky and the leaves. I couldn't care less if people are offended because we're not getting married in the Catholic Church. I couldn't care less if we get that new stereo system we put on our gift registry. I just don't care. I'm probably the most apathetic bride ever. All I really care about is people finally recognizing the bond that my fiance and I have shared for the last few years. In our minds, we're already husband and wife. I don't see how a piece of signed paper is supposed to suddenly change everything. I'm told it does. That you just feel different about each other. That the world treats you differently. Why? Maybe I'll understand in a few weeks. Maybe we'll be one of the few who just keep going like nothing happened. Who knows?

One thing's for sure. I'm never doing this again.