Ahh...wedded bliss! Not really. I don't know what everyone flips out about. It's not all that different from when we were engaged. We still work together. We still work as a team. The only big difference is my new last name (and first name too, but that's another story).

Just a (not so) little side rant....

Why do people ask newlyweds if they're still happily married? Do they really expect things to fall apart in 2 weeks? When you've been together for 4 1/2 years and living together for 2 years, you're out of that gooey romantic crap phase. It's not like we went into this marriage thing blind. We both knew what we were getting. We've had our share of no-holds-barred, knock-down-drag-out fights, but we got through them. Really, I think that's the bond that holds really good marriages together....the ability to fight and work through it. The ability to say this relationship is worth working for, fighting for, and when necessary, giving in for. We've both been saying that for years so I don't see what a little piece of paper can really add to that.

*Deep breath*
Ok...rant over.

So it's been a little more than a month after the wedding and life is pretty much back to its normal hectic pace. Two of our friends have decided to get married this fall after finding out on our wedding day they were pregnant. My best friend (and matron of honor) found out the day before our wedding she finally conceived (they've been trying for over a year). My hubby's back in grad school making up for the class he missed this spring preparing for the wedding. And that means I'm winding myself back up to take over the household operations and keeping both of our schedules straight.

Ah...married bliss!

The Wedding Saga Continues....

Well, we've picked out our rings, but haven't ordered them. We've picked out the cake but haven't ordered it yet. We've made a verbal agreement with the DJ but haven't had a chance to photocopy the contract and, therefore, haven't set it in stone. Our unity candle hasn't arrived yet. We still can't find a plain white non-scented pillar candle for our reception table centerpiece. I still need to lose some weight to fit comfortably into my wedding dress. All of this and only 38 days to go.

I refuse to panic. I refuse to panic. I refuse to panic.

This has become my mantra. Come hell or high water, on May 1, 2004 we will officially become each other's next of kin. And it can't get here soon enough for me.

I don't handle stress well....actually, that's a bit of an understatement....I don't handle stress period! Major emergencies I can remain calm and focused. Someone or something gets hurt, no problem....I'm on top of it with a level head. But for some reason, I can't deal with the little piddly stuff that makes life annoying. And this wedding is just one huge pile of piddly stuff.

To tell the truth, I couldn't care less if the favors match the exact color of the flowers and the dresses and the sky and the leaves. I couldn't care less if people are offended because we're not getting married in the Catholic Church. I couldn't care less if we get that new stereo system we put on our gift registry. I just don't care. I'm probably the most apathetic bride ever. All I really care about is people finally recognizing the bond that my fiance and I have shared for the last few years. In our minds, we're already husband and wife. I don't see how a piece of signed paper is supposed to suddenly change everything. I'm told it does. That you just feel different about each other. That the world treats you differently. Why? Maybe I'll understand in a few weeks. Maybe we'll be one of the few who just keep going like nothing happened. Who knows?

One thing's for sure. I'm never doing this again.

The Parent Rant

Ok. I've gotta ask....what the hell happens to parents when their little boy or girl decides they've met THE ONE and gets engaged? Do their brains just get sucked into some giant vacuum? And I'm not just talking about my parents or my fiance's parents either.....

Two of my friends recently got engaged (about a week ago). I've known both of them individually for several years. They began dating this past December and though I never would have pictured them together before, I know them well enough to realize they make a great couple. I'm not just looking at them through rose colored glasses either. They have their fights, but they seem to be able to work them out rationally. They're a team and deal with outsiders as a team. Until the parents butted in....

His mom is excited for them. VERY excited. So much so that she has the entire ceremony planned down to the rose trellis (which neither the bride nor groom are fond of). Her parents, on the other hand, initially gave their blessing when the couple approached them about getting married but now -- one week after the engagement happened -- they're saying, "Maybe you should wait. Move in together first and do that for a while before you get married." These are the same parents who, years ago when the bride-to-be made the off-handed remark that she wanted to live with a potential spouse before marrying him, said that living together wasn't the same thing. It was pretending to be married because there was no commitment. HUH???

I'm telling ya....parents just go bonkers when their kids show up with a ring on that left hand.

Take my parents for example. I called them up a few weeks ago to make sure I hadn't forgotten anyone when we drew up our guest list. Instead of adding people to the list, my Dad started cutting people -- his own family members! We're not talking distant cousins I've never met either....he uninvited his great-niece that I grew up with. His reasoning? "She didn't invite you to her wedding." Um Dad, hate to be the one to give you this news flash, but she didn't invite ANYONE to her wedding -- not even her own parents. She got married at the courthouse!

And my Mom....bless her heart....has other issues that I'll talk about in another post at some point. When I called the night I got engaged to tell her, her response was, "Oh, uh-huh? That's nice dear." Gotta admit...wasn't really expecting that one. I thought I'd at least get an, "I'm so happy for you," or a, "Congratulations!" Nope. I might as well have told her I got my fingernails painted. My cousin (who's also my godmother and is really more like a favorite aunt to me) was more excited.

*SIGH*

We won't even go into great detail about my future in-laws. Suffice it to say they've gotten really wacky since I said yes. If my FMIL doesn't attempt to turn our wedding into a political and social ladder climb, I'll be really surprised. For goodness sake, she even invited my fiance's dentist and the dentist's wife to our Jack and Jill shower along with insisting we invite cousins my fiance has never met and could care less about to our wedding. She doesn't even have their addresses!!! This isn't to mention the temper tantrum she threw when we decided we couldn't afford and didn't want to get married in the Caribbean and instead are getting married in my home town.

Some days, I just can't wait for this wedding to be over so we can get on with our lives and our parents can return to normal.

Well, since this is my first post, I'll give you some information about myself. I'm 27, female, work as a computer desktop support technician and I'm engaged to a man I'll refer to as Turtle (obviously that's not his real name). Almost every day, something happens to me or one of my friends or co-workers that makes it seem like I'm living in a soap opera. I like to tell these stories to anyone who'll listen -- not because I like the attention, but because I find them funny. After the last big story, one of my co-workers mentioned that she's been getting a kick out of telling all of her friends about me and my fiance's misadventures. It got me to thinking....why not start my own blog about it.

Now, I'm not gonna tell any of my friends about this site since I'll probably be telling their stories and some of them are intensely private people. Any names I use will be aliases so if any of these stories sound like you....maybe they are.

I'll also tell some stories about things that have happened in the past. You might have to be patient in the next few weeks since we're 8 weeks from our wedding day.

Until I write again....Blessed Be!