So Many Rainbows

This year - 2013 - is turning out to be such a happy year for rainbows in my loss group.  It's a weird kind of happy though because when you get pregnant again after a miscarriage, a part of you still mourns the baby that was while another part of you is excited and happy for the baby to come.

Certain dates are forever etched in your mind.  The date you found out you were pregnant, your due date, the day you learned about your loss, and sometimes the date of a D&C.  Then you have a whole new set of dates for the new baby and you don't know what to do when those other dates come around.  Do you openly mourn for the one you lost?  Then you're judged for being morbid or depressed and you're not a thankful pregnant woman (because God forbid you not be a happy, bubbly, shiny preggo!).  On the other hand, if you don't somehow acknowledge or feel a twinge of sadness at the passing of these dates, you feel like a monster - I mean, who just acts like everything is fine on the anniversary of losing a child?  It's confusing but one of the other moms posted a thought on Facebook the other day that the rest of us really liked:

"I believe that this baby was meant to be part of my life and

the other baby was meant to be part of my story."

So today I'm going to celebrate the positive - the rainbows meant to be part of our lives.  Today, the 10th rainbow in our little group will be born. The first rainbow to be born after my Rainbow came into my arms.  I can't wait to meet her (or at least see her picture)!  Happy Birthday, little girl :)